Terrified of Failing? You're Already Failing.
"How do you start when you're terrified of failing?"
If you've ever asked this question, I want you to stop right there. We're starting with the wrong question.
I'm a straight talker, so let's get right to the point: If your only fear is failing, then you are already failing—failing yourself. You're failing to give yourself the opportunity to try, to see your own potential. Holding yourself back because of a "what if" is the real tragedy.
The "What If" Trap
I've been there. I've been the person crippled by a "what if" list a mile long, stuck in total analysis paralysis. "What if it doesn't work?", "What if people think it's silly?", "What if I'm not good enough?"
But I can promise you, that "what if" list is pointless fiction. Every time I've taken a leap, the things I worried about were never the real challenges I eventually faced. The real challenges only reveal themselves once you're in motion—and you can't solve them standing still.
So, how do you get moving? You stop dealing with the vague, giant cloud of "failure" and you dissect it.
A System to Dissect Your Fear: The "Fear Autopsy"
When I feel that fear creeping in, I use a simple, two-step system to get it done. I call it the "Fear Autopsy".
1. Challenge the Vague Fear (Ask "What?"): Fear loves to be vague. We're not afraid of a specific thing; we're afraid of a feeling. Let's get specific with some brutal honesty. Ask yourself:
What am I really afraid of? (e.g., "I'm afraid my friends will think I'm silly," or "I'm afraid I'll look stupid.")
What is the real, tangible consequence if that happens? (e.g., "I'll be embarrassed for a week.")
When you write it down, the monster in your head almost always shrinks. You'll realize you're not afraid of financial ruin; you're afraid of a temporary feeling.
2. Calculate the "Cost of Entry": Next, ask yourself: "What is the actual 'cost' of taking the very first step?"
Not the cost of finishing the whole project. Just the first step. Is it sending one email? Is it one hour of research? Is it buying a domain name?
The cost of starting is almost always zero, or very, very close to it.
The Real Failure
Worrying about all the "what ifs" is the easiest way to guarantee you'll never start at all. The real failure isn't trying something and having it not work out. The real failure is letting an imaginary fear hold you hostage.
Stop failing yourself. Take the first, small step.
This is a topic I explore in-depth on Episode 3 of The Rhonda Lavoie Podcast, "Terrified of Failing? You're Already Failing." Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
